If you ask any parent what the worst part about kids is, many of them would say diapers.
Diapers are disgusting. Well maybe not the diaper itself, but the substance a diaper is designed to catch, soak, hold and/or let spew up the back of your child is disgusting. The “You never know what you are going to get when you open that diaper” reality is disgusting.
One day it could be a thick molasses type substance that for some reason beyond the grasp of your mind does not smell. Then the next joy ride can be a little rabbit turd that singes and burns your nose hairs. You never really know what you are going to get. Its a dementedly fun treasure hunt type experience, but nearly always gross.
And even though the diaper is a pretty very bad part of parenting, there is one thing that tops diapers in my parenting experience.
This may surprise some of you… You ready for it?
SIPPY CUPS
I hate sippy cups. That is all I have to say.
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.
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Just kidding… I have more.
There are so many things I hate about sippy cups it is hard to know where to start. So lets just dig right in.
- Drip Drip Drip Drip Drip- Do your sippy cups stop the dripping? No? That is what I thought. Putting a lid on a cup holds so much false hope. You trust that the RED Cran-Raspberry juice will be held back from spilling on your lightly colored carpet, but the sippy cup always lets you down. Now your beige carpet is littered with stains and requires a once every 6 month professional carpet cleaning. This mind you is not cheap.You may ask, “Why not clean it up right away?” and here is my response. Kids are cunning crafty little creatures that know when you are not looking. They purposely tip the cups over when you are busy reading about why your other kids poop is bright green.
- The Design- Who designs these things? First design flaw is the fact you need an instruction manual and a parts legend just to put the thing together. I have seen sippy cups with no less then 17 active moving parts and if you are missing 1 piece… LEAKS.Second, there are cracks and creases so small in sippy cups you do not have a prayer of cleaning it thoroughly. I do not know one item that can be seen by the naked eye that is small enough to clean a sippy cup. Cue tip? Too big. Toothpick? Too big. Sewing needle? Still too big. I’m pretty sure water is too thick to actually reach these places.Third, the little rubber pieces. Can you ever find the little rubber pieces? First of all they are clear, so they could sit in the bottom of the dishwasher’s silverware contraption for 7 loads before being found out. Secondly, kids seem to think they are toys. Third, once again… impossible to clean.
- Taking them in the car- With a normal cup your kid has to drink it all gone before getting in the car. But with a sippy cup your child gets to bring their drink with them. I’m not even going to mention the fact that now your car has red juice stains (okay I just did, but that is not the main point).The main point is that somehow that sippy cup is going to get lost under the seat or tucked in behind the car seat and sit there… for a long time. Is it you that finds the cup? NO WAY. After a few months your child will undoubtedly find the sippy cup half full of fermented apple juice. So fermented that you could be at risk of CPS finding out you give your kid alcoholic beverages in their sippy cups. Then, wait for it, your kid will start drinking it. Once you see your child drinking out of this cup you will instantly realize that you have not given them a sippy cup all day so the one they are drinking must be old. Here are the evets that follow. Mommy or Daddy:
“Oh, sweetie lets not drink that, its icky.”
After you rip the sippy cup away from the death grip your crying child has on the cup you proceed to take it to the sink and clean it.
You attempt to open it, but your hands are wet from doing dishes and the dumb thing has no grip and you cannot get it open. This makes you want to cuss, but instead you get a towel, dry it and with all your might twist the lid off.
The smell from the fermented apple juice hits you like a ton of bricks. All the oxygen has been instantly zapped out of the air by the carbon dioxide being released into your face and you pass out. You come to quickly, regain composure and continue cleaning the sippy cup. You turn the lid over to find that every tiny unreachable crevice, including that rubber stopper is now coated in mold. After the disgust of realizing your child just drank nearly the entire remaining portion of this beverage, you quarantine the cup, lid and stopper in a zip lock bag and dispose of it in the garbage in the garage.
- The Disposable Kind – Let’s be honest. These cups are terrible. You only buy them because you can get 44 of them for .10 cents. But the truth is they encompass everything that is wrong with sippy cups.
So there you have it. What I hate most is sippy cups.
Stupid Sippy Cups.
Let me know what you think about sippy cups in the comments… Or the item you hate most that parents have to use.
