So far in life I am surrounded by girls. A wife and 3 daughters means I am outnumbered at this point 4 to 1.
What does this mean for me?
Well, first off all it means I am forced into being foolish enough to try one more time for a boy. Which obviously could result in a (I’m struggling to find the right word here… can a kid be considered a catastrophe?).
Secondly it means tons of the same jokes from all my friends. So far in one week of fantasy football the only jokes about me have been something surrounding the fact I have 3 daughters. Dance recitals, there’s more girls to come, etc, etc, lol, ha ha ha. (It’s not as if my comebacks about their sons being in my daughters dance recitals are all that hilarious either.)
Thirdly, and worst of all, it means (I’m struggling to find the right word here… wait no I’m not) estrogen… and tons of it. TONS.
Now, I am aware that estrogen begins
taking over increasing in a woman once maturity starts. But you see… that’s what scares me.
All people keep saying to me is boys are harder at first, but girls are harder later. SON OF A. This is already, how you say… not easy.
The emotional range of a woman is incredible (I’m using the word incredible as a bias neutral term. It could have positive connotation or negative connotation, what’s fun is that you get to pick!).
Already my daughters are displaying such absolute disregard for steady emotional acceleration/deceleration, and their estrogen levels are being held at bay by innocence.
What is going to happen to me when I have a house full of teenage women, who’s cycles have all evilly formed alliances and are being led by their menopausal leader.
Is there any hope for me? Or will my naturally low male estrogen levels begin increasing from shear osmosis. (If you are a dude reading this laughing to yourself because I admit I have estrogen… so do you. Wikipedia it fool… or just look down at your man boobs.) It’s boring but it’s science.
At what actions in my life am I going to have to surrender my man card? That is a serious question I am asking my readers. Please share with me.
Would that action be posting a video on you tube to teach dads how to braid their daughters hair? (all the women take a deep breath and think ‘how sweet’, and all the guys are thinking ‘Oh dear god Ben, don’t do it.’)
Would it be if at some point I was more excited to pick out prom shoes with my teenage daughter than fish for coho on the Duwamish River? (LOL… that would never happen… my daughters going to prom.)
Or would it be if I cried watching 27 dresses?
Perhaps this feeling is an over-reaction and I need not worry, or perhaps I need to mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and manily* prepare for what my life will hold… TONS OF TEARS.
*Manily: of, pertaining to, or consisting of man things and preparedness.