A few weeks ago my wife and I got a chance to get away from the kids and go on a date. The restaurant we wanted to go to had a wait time of about 45 minutes so we headed over to the shopping center to walk around a little.
As many of you parents know, kids are expensive. In fact our date night consisted of a gift card for the restaurant and movie tickets that were given to us as a gift.
Well in light of our children stripping us of every extra penny we make we decided to meander through a high end furniture store. We’re talking couches for $15K, book shelves for $6k and little jewel covered hippos for $900. Yes, you heard me right… apparently rich people like bedazzled African animals.
My wife and I did NOT pull off the “we look wealthy enough to buy something in this store” look. How do I know this? We were in the store looking around for at least 15 minutes and not one time did the workers ask us if we needed help. I wasn’t offended by any means, even though I had on my nicest coat from Old Navy. And anyway they looked like they were having an important conversation with each other.
My wife started talking in some accent pretending to be rich (not sure why her image of a rich person has an accent but I digress). It was hilarious. She was acting as if she was the store employees, a metro looking dude and an older lady trying to look like she was still in her 30’s. Have you ever seen Date Night? The scene where Tina Fey and Steve Carell are making up conversation they assume other people are having. It was like that.
in an accent:
“Look at those teenage parents, with their second hand clothes with spit up stains.”
After we were done looking around and my wife had told me not to touch that a dozen or so times, we were planning on leaving the store.
This is when the idea of how to stick it to the man entered my wife’s head. She whispered in my ear, promptly sat down on the most expensive couch we could find, farted and we left.