The life of a parent is gross.
Hayley (child 2, age 3) randomly puked last night. It was weird… she was acting fine then it hit.
The wife and I were sitting in the dining room and we heard something that sounded like someone dumped a bowl of oatmeal on the floor. You know that splat/thud sound… That was the vomit.
Amazingly, Hayley managed to almost make it to the hallway and about 80% of the up-chuck landed on the hard floor in the hall and not on the carpet. GOOD JOB HAYLEY!
Here’s a pic… (I’m seriously about to show you a picture… and it’s gross. You are going to have to scroll down a bit though… this is to protect the squeamish from having to see it. Scroll fast if you don’t want to see!)
You may think at this point, clean the kid, clean the floor and it’s over… Gross but over. OH NO! We have more kids, and it wouldn’t be parenting if one of the other kids didn’t at least lay in the puke… Mmmm hmm, keep reading.
Of course the first thing you do after your child pukes all over the place is comfort them. We held Hayley, who has vomit all over her clothes and in her hair, to make sure she was okay… and yes, the puke gets all over you too, but what do you do? It’s the lot of a parent. You forget about how nasty it is, focus on your sick child first, then the massive amount of throw-up that has yet to be cleaned up.
In moments like this you can tend to overly focus on your sick child and forget about your other children.
As my wife takes Hayley, and I head to the cleaning supplies our littlest angel Andi (child 3, age 16 months) decides she wants to head from the living room into the kitchen to find mommy and daddy… right through the puke.
Liquid and hard floors make for a pretty slippery combination and Andi ended up flat on her back laying in the throw-up.
Two kids now crying and covered in barf. I quickly grab Andi and start getting her cleaned up.
Oh and there is still a giant pool of spew that has yet to be touched, 20% of which is soaking deeper and deeper into the carpet. Not to mention by that point the stench started to permeate throughout the house. It was a rather sweet yet musty smell, a combination of frozen yogurt and pizza.
But we are not even done yet, just as I am able to get the cleaning supplies and start attacking the mess our oldest daughter Eowyn (child1, age 5), who is trying to be very helpful, runs through the hall way into the living room, tracking with her on the bottoms of her feet the chunder which has now found its way onto each of my children, the third of which spreading it deeper into the living room. (deep breath)
After making sure the crime scene has been blocked off and the kids are okay I finally get to get on my hands and knees, shove my face close enough to the pile of barf that the smell lodges itself into my brains limbic system and clean up the chunks.
I love being a parent!
A very special and huge thanks to Nana and Uncle Noah, who were not only there to see this chaos, but helped with childs 1 and 3.